doing something by doing nothing

doing something by doing nothing. this sounds a bit contradicting. how can one be doing something by doing nothing? i am exploring the act of doing nothing, with the intention of doing nothing for a moment, a minute or the next 5 minutes.

often, humans cannot stand doing nothing. once we are not doing something, we begin to feel useless, not productive or not contributing to the society. in the end, we get ourselves busy by doing something, anything, just not letting ourselves to be in a state of doing nothing. do we feel tired from doing all the time? maybe for a moment, but the next moment, we start to get ourselves occupied or distracted. we get so used to doing something all the time that we feel uneasy when we are doing nothing. the question is, where are we heading towards?

some time last year, someone asked me, “what do i want to do now?” during that time, i was overwhelmed by a lot of things, emotionally and mentally, making me feel tired and frustrated. a tiny voice was shouting very loudly inside me, “i want to do nothing!” a sense of rebelliousness was brewing inside me, ready to reject anything that was coming my way. i just wanted to stay still and quiet. i could not understand what the rush was for. i could see nothing. i needed a bigger purpose in front to propel me forward.

this year, i decided to give myself the time and space to deliberately do nothing, to be present to the passing of time. it was like i was on the main path and i took a deliberate detour onto the forest trail. i was taking my time to walk, to feel the forest, to listen to my heart, to reflect in my mind, to be in the moment. there was no rush, only serenity. i felt at peace and happy, a moment to treasure. 

in the busyness of life, we should give ourselves the time and space to experience the moment of doing nothing...

walking on a forest trail

the book café

it was a saturday morning and i was walking from clarke quay mrt station to robertson quay. i was on my way to a morning gathering session with some friends at 9am. we were planning to meet at a café place at robertson quay. i was looking at my watch when i reached liang court and realised it was 8:51am! 9 more minutes to go! estimating the distance and time, i needed to run to make it in time. when i was approaching, i saw the little red car parking outside the café. rare occasion that the rest were there already. =p  i finally stepped into the café at 8:57am, feeling out of breath. phew! just in time!

the name of the café was interesting, it was literally named as “the book café”. the place was not too small, with indoor and outdoor seating area, allowing you to choose, depending on your mood of the day. for the interior, there was the sofa seating area, with big sofas, coffee tables and soft lighting, creating a cozy living room ambience for morning breakfast.

we were sitting at the chair area, which was spacious and comfortable as well. around the café, there were shelves of books and latest magazines, free to pick any for browsing. framed posters were hanged on the walls, giving it a tint of sophisticated feel.

they served a wide variety of food, including all day breakfast. the service of the staff was warm and friendly when taking our orders and asking about our feedback on the food. i even had a lovely birthday surprise when the staff brought up a piece of birthday chocolate cake at the end of our meeting session! my friends sang me a birthday song and i made my birthday wish! the chocolate cake was delicious! thanks gals!

i had a great time with good company, a cup of mocha and fantastic cake! the book café provided the much needed space for busy city dwellers to gather and relax or just to let their minds go empty.

thumbs up for the book café!

http://www.thebookcafe.com.sg/

the book café

my birthday cake!

math

today is my 31st birthday...

i have lived on this plant for...
31 years or
11,315 days or
271,560 hours or
16,293,600 minutes

most of the time, i spent it wondering what my truest self was... where did i leave it? luckily, for the past 2 years, i managed to find some answers...

i am thinking, if i ever live till 71 years old, that would be another...
40 years
14,600 days or
350,400 hours or
21,024,000 minutes

the next question is, what do i want to create? how do i want to create?

sophie's world

sophie's world, a novel about the history of philosophy, by jostein gaarder.

an unexpected encounter with this book when i bought it at a roadside bookstall in shanghai 2 years ago, but had not read it until recently. that time, i was walking along the road with my colleagues after dinner and we chanced upon a roadside bookstall. we started browsing and 1 of my colleagues, coly recommended this book to me. i thought it was no harm to add a good book at home and so i bought it.

2 years later, i was browsing my bookshelf, deciding on the next book to read. this book caught my attention. as i reached into my bookshelf and picked up this book, i did not know that an exciting journey through the history of philosophy was awaiting me. the story started to unfold. there was a story within a story, with a twist that kept me reading and reading.

somehow, i felt that THIS was the right moment to read this book than if i were to read 2 years ago. sophie's and my path finally crossed. this was what i needed to understand at this stage of my life..

it was interesting that every encounter with a book, reading it and the insights it brought after reading, could very well be an inspiring story by itself. did it just happen by chance or was there a reason behind it? had the bookstall not been there that night, had we not walked on that road that night, had i not gone to shanghai, had i not been assigned to that engagement, had i not... i like this kind of encounter, where everything falls in place, just waiting for the moment to unfold...

thanks, sophie! or is it alberto, hilde or major albert?

sophie's world

倔强

here's another mayday song that i resonate a lot recently... like the lyrics very much, especially the first two verses... 当我和世界不一样　那就让我不一样...

倔强

作词: 阿信  作曲: 阿信

當　我和世界不一樣　那就讓我不一樣　

堅持對我來說　就是以剛克剛
我　如果對自己妥協　如果對自己說謊　
即使別人原諒　我也不能原諒

最美的願望　一定最瘋狂
我就是我自己的神　在我活的地方
我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放
下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強

對　愛我的人別緊張　我的固執很善良

我的手越骯髒　眼神越是發光
你　不在乎我的過往　看到了我的翅膀
你說被火燒過　才能出現鳳凰
逆風的方向　更適合飛翔
我不怕千萬人阻擋　只怕自己投降
我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放
下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強

我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放

下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強
就這一次　讓我大聲唱
啦啦啦...   就算失望　不能絕望
啦啦啦...   就這一次　我和我的倔強

九号球

been listening to mayday songs recently and the song, 九号球 keeps humming in my head. feels that the lyrics somehow describe how i feel recently, at my crossroads again. the indescribable feelings in me, which i cannot put into words. what am i trying to tell myself? need some inspiration from them…

九号球

作词: 阿信  作曲: 怪兽

逃走 翻过围墙 我只能逃走 从教室里头

奔向自由 熟悉角落 有人在等我 有挑衅的笑容

今天谁先开球 让谁常点苦头

绿色地平线上 我撞著 彩色堕落

也许我这一杆 又没办法进球

就像我的生活 一直在出差错

也许我这一生 始终在追逐那颗九号球

却忘了 是谁在爱我

却忘了 是谁在罩著我

从前 书包很满 装不下的梦 就丢了一些

未来我们 要怎么活 凝视著白球 暂时我不去想

天空渐渐变红 影子爬满球桌

输赢没有结果 像人生 难以捉摸

也许我这一杆 又没办法进球

就像我的生活 一直在出差错

也许我这一生 始终在追逐那颗九号球

却忘了 是谁在爱我

却忘了 是谁在罩著我

a sea of blue

i am talking to wayne recently and mayday comes into the picture. she is a fan of mayday and so am i! she is sharing with me about mayday song lyrics and how she is inspired by them. yes, they definitely have a lot of inspiring songs that i like and not to be missed to sing at ktv!

this reminded me of the mayday concert i attended in shanghai 2 years ago. it all started when i was assigned for a business trip to shanghai in july 2009 with cckk and coly. at that time, i was not aware that they would be having a concert in shanghai. it happened coincidentally when we were going to a convenience store near our hotel on one of the evenings. as we were nearing the convenience store, their dna concert poster pasted outside caught my eye. i still remembered that i grasped when i saw it! as i looked closer, i saw that we would still be in shanghai during the concert day! oh my gosh! it really got me excited to want to attend the concert! not a chance to be missed! i went to google on how to purchase the concert ticket. cckk and coly got influenced by me and wanted to go as well. hahaha!!! after a few phone calls and confirmation of our seats, we finally got the tickets delivered to the office! we were waiting for the big day to come!

it was all crowded when we made our way to the hongkou football stadium on 4 july 2009. fans were swarming from all over and roadside peddlers were selling light sticks to the fans. this was getting excited by the minute! when we were seated, we could see a sea of blue when everyone lighted the blue light sticks. it was moving. i was really amazed by the impact that mayday had created from their music to the fans out there. their pursuit of dreams, passion, perseverance and hard work were all in their music, bringing them to where they were today. they deserved the crowd and applause.

the concert started with a loud bang and continued throughout with fast and slow songs. the energy was high on the stage as well as off the stage. the fans knew their songs by heart and were singing alongside with them. it sounded like a massive ktv session. we could not miss to join in the fun! their songs somehow resonated with many of us, as if they understood how we felt and the struggles to go through. it felt like emotional release and therapy to sing their songs out loud! it was an awesome concert!!!

a small episode happened when we came out of the stadium after the concert ended. as the train station was no longer in service, we had to take a cab back to the hotel. there were so many people waiting for cabs and we took a long walk down some unknown roads until we finally managed to grab a cab.

one of the songs that became our theme song during the trip was 春天的呐喊 (scream of spring)! pay particular attention to the lyrics! hahaha! really suited us because we ended up working in shanghai for 7 weeks due some unexpected delays. needed a song to vent out the work stress!

nevertheless, it was all worth it for mayday concert!  i hope one day, i could attend their concert in their home ground, taiwan! it would be a totally different experience… = )

p/s: cckk and coly, those were the good memories!!! except for the work part... =p

crowd gathered outside the stadium

crowd seated inside the stadium

a sea of blue!

春天的呐喊!

作词: 阿信  作曲: 怪兽

不要叫我比赛 不要再看我成绩单 

不要再无奈 不要再忍耐 不要再让我伤肝

天天都火腿蛋 天天都排骨鸡腿饭

我需要扭转 我需要意外 我需要感觉存在

当阳光很冷淡 心情很吉普赛

没人能挡住我 跟平凡掰掰

方向盘指向南 一路都不转弯

除非我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊

压力要甩 忧郁要推翻
爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊
喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾
一生能有几次跟世界宣战

不想再当模范 不想要再当乖乖牌

我只想摇摆 我只想旋转 我只想阂到腿软

让冬天被打败 让春天冲上了舞台 

让热血变红 让天空变蓝 让我把无聊炸开

看羚羊草枝摆 我爱上大自然

来不及等泪乾 来不及防晒

浪漫只怕太慢 痛快只怕太快

快让我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊
压力要甩 忧郁要推翻
爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊
喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾
一生能有几次跟世界宣战

当阳光很冷淡 心情很吉普赛

没人能挡住我 跟平凡掰掰

方向盘指向南 一路都不转弯

除非我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊

压力要甩 忧郁要推翻

爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊

喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾

一生能有几次跟世界宣战

一生能有几次终於没人管

一生能有几次跟世界宣战

things are created twice

i went for a leaders conference last weekend at johor bahru. it was a fun and relaxing yet reflective weekend. there was one activity where the organizer gave us different colours of plasticine, those that we used to play when we were young, and wanted us to create something using the plasticine. i totally had no idea what to create and got stuck! until he said that we were responsible adults and should be able to carry out a simple task like this, did i finally calmed myself down to start thinking and doing. eventually, i molded a book (named life), a pencil and a coffee cup with a saucer!

he said something at the end of the activity that left a deep impression in me. he said, “things are created twice, one is created in your mind and one is created in reality.” how true! as i reflected back, i did had the images of the book, pencil and coffee cup with a saucer in my mind before i started to mold them out one by one.

on a bigger context, we often create many things in our minds, our dreams, the kind of lifestyles we want to live or the things that we want to do. however, how many do we really create in reality? we are stopped by some unknown fears and get stuck in our minds. as time passes, we tell ourselves that it is alright, it is just a faraway dream and it becomes long forgotten. maybe we just need to understand the in between, of what it takes to put dreams into reality. understanding what is stopping us and overcoming the obstacles one by one. otherwise, what else is there to do? 

my book (named life), pencil and coffee cup with saucer!

re-org

re-org stands for reorganize in short. i heard it from a friend of mine who kept saying this during our trekking trips. he would say to re-org his bag, re-org the group and whatsoever. therefore, for the past 1 week, i was busy reorganizing my stuff at home. i started to flip through my 4 ikea boxes and bookshelves to see what could be thrown away. what amazed me was that i still kept my polytechnic notes 10 years ago! talking about holding onto old things, i was holding them real tightly! time to let them go! it was a tug and war between discarding and retaining the things. with more and more things piling but less and less space, some things just had to go. out went the long obsolete lecture and training notes, the unread magazines, the useless mailers from the banks and other stuff to make space for new things.

the headache part was how to reorganize the rest of the things that managed to survive the destiny of discard (at least for now). it called for immerse discipline and energy to keep clearing, cleaning and reshuffling things around. finally after 1 week of hard work, a new lease of life was injected into the long dead bookshelves! until the next re-org.

it definitely feels lighter when things are neat and tidy. my room looks more zen now! hahaha! physical clutters cleared!

my pile of old old notes!

i am back!

i am back! after 3 years, 6 months and 3 days of disappearance! i am starting to blog again! it all started when my friend, zee, who was sharing excitedly about her blog and decided to re-blog again! sort of inspired me to revive my blog too! 2 things would remain, the blog name and use of small letters. i am still aligned to mastering the art of simplicity in my life and use of small letters seem to make every word equal.

my gosh! time flies!!! a brief update, i have recently quitted my internal auditor job (briefly mentioned in my entry dated on 23 december 2007) and finally granted myself a break first before i move onto other things. there are definitely a lot of changes over the span of 3 years, 6 months and 3 days, even the runaway princess (entry dated on 28 january 2007) has come back to her homeland once again. in fact, she has been working in the same company with me for the past 1 and ½ year. this time, it is my turn to run away. =p

i am definitely excited to blog more about the memorable events that happened over the past 3 years. no more writing of “would”, “could” and “should”, but more free flow writing! yeah!

as a new start, i aspire this blog to have a viral effect in the internet world, create a refreshing wave of expression and a new addiction where you can’t wait to go home for your dose of fun-ness and craziness! may this blog prosper! huat ah!

embracing 2008

it is the start of another new year, to reflect on the past year and set new resolutions for the coming year. it had been a peaceful 2007 for me except that i finally changed my job, with more time for myself...

with a new beginning, these are the eventful memories in 2007 and my resolutions for 2008…

eventful memories in 2007:
1) change of job
2) diving trips @ perhentian
3) holiday trip @ vietnam & cambodia
4) watching soccer @ cuppage road
5) learning to blade @ east coast park

resolutions for 2008:
1) to be happier
2) to be in control
3) to be more focused
4) to do more
5) to read more
6) to be more open minded
7) to be more organized
8) to be more positive
9) to be more confident
10) to be more decisive

to my friends and myself, may year 2008 be full of hope and surprises… cheers… = )

moving on...

it was more than 2 months since i started on my new job in october. having to work in my ex company for 3 years, i decided it was time for a change and move on. i started looking out for new opportunities in july. it was a tedious process of writing resume, sending out resume, going for interviews and waiting for replies. finally, i accepted an offer from a food manufacturing company and almost immediately i tendered my resignation letter without much consideration. i had requested for early release and served only 2 weeks’ notice before i began my 3 weeks holiday to vietnam and cambodia with ms ee. the timing was good as i had planned for the trip before my resignation and when the new offer came by, i thought it would be a good break before starting on the new job.

it was a quiet goodbye to my ex company with mixed feelings. i would miss the great colleagues/friends whom I had known and helped me along the way. with them, work meant something more than just work. it was not without a tinge of sadness to leave them for greener pastures. nevertheless, i knew it was time for me to move on to explore other opportunities. i would remember the wonderful times we had together and the friendships made. thanks for everything… = )

in future, i would be on my own to face the new working environment, new colleagues and new job scope. may everything turns out well...

a moment of thought

it’s so easy to do nothing… sitting quietly at one corner, observing things happening before your eyes, listening to the sounds around you and letting your mind daydreaming away… before you know it, time has just slipped by… it’s so easy to do nothing in a lazy afternoon…

celebrating my birthday

dinner at chijmes and drinking at new asia bar with a couple of friends... contented... thanks to xueying and yufen... = )

p/s: many thanks to all my friends who have sent me birthday wishes throughout the day...

serenity in a faraway island

the sun started to set at the horizon of the sea, blended into the blue sky. we were standing at coral bay, looking at the sunset. it was beautiful...

sunset at coral bay

coral bay was located at perhentian kecil, a small island near the state of terengganu, malaysia. i went there to take my advanced diving course and ms ee had accompanied me for some fun dives. we reached on a sunday morning (15 july 2007) after 14 hours of travel by train, van and ferry. the island looked the same except for the undergoing construction of a jetty at one side of coral bay. such major change within a short span of 2 months since we last visited in may.

we headed for the dive school and were greeted by familiar faces, the boss and the diving instructors. the dive shop was not too big but cozy and nicely decorated, with paintings of fishes on the walls of the shop or being hanged up. all the paintings were done by sebastian, my diving instructor. i must say he has a talent in drawing and painting, able to capture the distinct features of the various types of fishes and paint them out. there was a boat-like long table in the centre of the shop which was used to hold oxygen tanks and equipment. the divers would check their oxygen tanks and equipment there before carrying them to the speed boat and set off for their dive. tables and chairs were also laid out at one side of the shop for the dive instructors to conduct theory lessons or for the divers to sit around to have a chat. we spent most of our time in the dive shop, sitting around, reading books and observing each day passing by. throughout the day, the dive instructors would be busy preparing the equipment for the dive trips, explaining the different dive spots to the divers and bringing them out to the sea to dive. we met a couple of japanese diving instructors, mikki and noriko as well as a couple of japanese divers, natsumi and haruna. although I could not understand japanese language, it was fascinating to hear and observe them talking to one another. their faces were always full of expressions, interested in whatever one another was talking about. it looked like a small cultural exchange when we exchanged information about ourselves and our countries.

steffen sea sports dive school

my diving instructor, sebastian

paintings on the wall by sebastian

perhentian islands painted by sebastian

fish paintings by sebastian

japanese divers

i completed my advanced diving course in 3 days. the course included knowledge learning and 5 dives, namely underwater photography, underwater navigation, night diving, wreck diving and deep diving. i was quite nervous during my first dive, underwater photography, as it was more than half a year ago since I last dived. my heart was thumbing real fast the moment i went underwater. luckily everything went smoothly, though i was rather busy controlling my breathing and buoyancy than admiring the underwater world. i became more at ease in my subsequent dives to enjoy looking at the fishes and corals.

underwater corals taken by me

it was a different experience every time i dived, even at the same dive spot as there was so much to explore and see. i saw cuttlefish hunting for food during the night diving, like watching national geographic underwater. i saw stringrays lying quietly on the sandy bottom, sea turtle seeking food and schools of yellow-tail fishes swimming in front of us. there were many other species of fishes such as puffer fish, box fish, lion fish, clown fish, trigger fish and moray eel. it always amazed me to observe them swimming around effortlessly. I wondered whether they would be amazed by us as well, having so much equipment just to swim around. = p

the island stay was peaceful and quiet where time seemed to slow down. There wasn’t much hustle and you would not see people rushing anywhere. Tourists were either leisurely strolling or sun tanning on the beach. Otherwise, they would be relaxing in the cafes or out diving in the sea. it was a great contrast compared to the lifestyle in Singapore where everyone was always in a hurry. I learnt to enjoy the slower pace of life there where nothing else seemed significant except for the present moment. One could simply relaxed and let the time pass by. Looking at the sea and hearing the sound of waves splashing onto the shore had a smoothing and calming effect to the body and mind as well. i could also see different kinds of people coming to the island for different reasons, some for work while others for holiday, just like us. they were friendly to share their experiences and cultures, opening up my insights and perspectives of things that i never thought of.

group photo

from left standing: jacky, ms ee, me, sebastian & natsumi

from left sitting: mikki, noriko & haruna

a week’s holiday soon came to an end where we had to pack our bags and return to our homeland. we were drawn back to reality once again, going through to the routines of everyday life... i truly look forward to my next diving trip…

till then…

emotionless state of mind?

it has always been my favorite moment, to relax in my room at night after a day of activities.. i enjoy the quietness of the night where i have time for myself and letting my thoughts run..

i have been feeling funny these days, though i cannot really pinpoint what is the cause or why i am feeling this way.. is it a sense of weariness of my current life? a routined life which revolves mostly around work, leaving little energy for other things? besides work, there are other stuff to do everyday and by the time i am done with those, it is bedtime again.. maybe i am lacking some form of change or excitement to stimulate my interest for new things.. this is frustrating when i feel something is not right but i am not sure what i should do… i am neither very happy or very sad.. am i getting emotionless and too rational? or is it a tinge of sadness that many times we can only accept things that have happened?

i have been thinking a lot about the past, things that i had been through, happy or sad, and the people whom i have known throughout the years.. there isn’t anything fantastic about my past, but it does mould me into who i am today, my thoughts and perspective of things.. i am grateful to many people who have directly or indirectly helped me along the way, especially during the last few years.. they have taught me about patience, determination, perseverance and meaning of life.. the last few years have been my toughest so far and i am glad that i am back on track again.. there are great memories and friendships made and i treasure them deeply in my heart.. we should not take things for granted and things often happen for a reason or a lesson to be learnt.. maybe as we grow older, some things that seem important in the past, do not seem so important now..

i am still searching for answers..

pursuit of happiness

what is happiness? everyone around me seems to be pursuing happiness lately.... when is the last time you are happy? is it something that we can measure or feel? how does it feel like? is it given by someone? no one can really give me a definite answer.. i guess everyone of us has a different definition about happiness.. maybe to someone, having a lot of money is happiness.. to others, a successful career is happiness.. or maybe just having a good meal can be considered happiness.. why are we busy searching for happiness? how does it feel like? when will we find the answer to this question? is there an answer to this question, or the answer is there, but we never really take a good look at it..

maybe it can be associated with contentment... to be contented with whatever you have, to treasure the people, the things that you have... we only have 1 pair of hands and there is so much that we want to hold onto.. or is it about unconditional giving to other people, not expecting anything in return?

all the while, i am seeking the answer to this question and i dwell on it when i can't find the answer.. suddenly, i realise that i am going in the wrong direction.. the answer is just right in front of me.. just that i never take good notice or appreciate it.. listen to your heart closely.. it tells you when you are happy or sad.. manify your happiness and minimise your misery..

i guess it is the little things in life that made up the happiness, not the big things.. little things and actions in life that touch your heart... maybe we never realise how fortunate we are already, but always trying to seek more and more.. then we get lost along the way... instead, we feel more misersable.. maybe if we focus on making people happy, we will naturally feel happy as well..

maybe no matter how much people tell you, you will never know until you experience yourself.. until you make the first move to truly make someone happy...

a work-free weekend

i realize time flies faster when i am relaxing and doing things i enjoy. after two months of late nights and working during weekends, i finally decide to give myself a break this weekend to run some personal errands.

i woke up on a saturday morning with a call from xueying. she was attending violin lessons at a music school in my neighborhood and we arranged to have breakfast together. the hawker centre was bustling with people queuing up to buy breakfast. we chatted over breakfast about our recent lives and found out that she would be going to USA to visit her sister. we sat for a while to wait for the photo shop to open to take photos for her visa. as i was planning to go diving in malaysia, she was giving me some information of the place, since she had gone there diving before. she is an avid diver and she loves to see turtles underwater. her love for turtles could be seen by the number of turtle soft toys that she had and i was amazed when i saw the photo of her collection.

after bidding her goodbye, i went home to prepare for my next appointment. i arranged with my colleagues to visit another colleague of ours who just had an operation at kk hospital. we were glad to see that she was doing fine after the operation, with good appetite and watching animations.

after that, i made my way to lavender street to buy bus tickets for my diving trip. the ironic thing was that i realized i had no money for the tickets when i reached there! guessed i got ‘overheated’ by the hot weather to remember to withdraw some money. i went around searching for an atm machine before returning back to the bus terminal again.

the last errand to run for the day was to get myself a mp3 player. i met up with my sister at sim lim square where there were lots of electronic shops to shop around and compare prices. i didn’t have a good idea of what brands were available in the market now. i wanted to get a MP3 player with music storage and fm functions at a reasonable price. so we walked from shop to shop, looking at the brands and enquiring the prices. there were a lot of brands available but actually, I could only recognize 3 brands, samung, ipod and creative. after some enquiries, we realized that ipod didn’t have fm function, so it was down to 2 choices, creative or samung. creative zen model caught my attention since i knew that creative specialized in mp3 players. however, the price of the creative charger made me think twice as i felt that it was too expensive for a charger. then the sales person recommended the samsung mp3 player to me. it was sleek, with the functions i wanted and had a touch pad to maneuver the functions. so we went around comparing prices for the samsung mp3 player until we came to a shop. the sales person was friendly and willing to explain the functions of the mp3 player to us. after some negotiation, we agreed on the price, including the charger and made the purchase. finally, I got my mp3 player!

i spent the rest of the night exploring my new mp3 player and caught up with some reading. it was an exhausting but fruitful weekend for me, having to accomplish a few things. this summed up my saturday weekend...

recently, i realize that a day could pass by very fast, depending on what we are doing… a day becomes a month and a month becomes a year. we live a day by a day, making new discoveries and having new perspectives of things around us… our mindset change as we grow older and we begin to realize things that we never consider before... everyone has 24 hours a day and we have a choice of how to make use of the time. i guess i am learning to live my days fruitfully and appreciate the beauty of life… = )

have you started to appreciate as well?

lovers' day

today is valentine's day.. one of my favorite occasions.. a day to express your appreciation to your loved ones, be it your lover, family or friends.. whether you are attached or single, happy valentine's day! enjoy!

love is always around you.. use your heart to feel.. = )

it takes time to be strong

pp called to say goodbye.. in the end, i never did send her off.. she told me it takes time to be strong.. i cried.. she knows me too well.. nothing more needs to be said..

she touched my heart once again..

runaway princess

after much thoughts and consideration, pp finally decided to leave the firm. like donkey, she was on the same engagement with us and it is wonderful to have known her.

it is unexpectedly difficult for me to write this entry, trying hard to find the right words to express my feelings. i guess the closer you are to a particular person, the harder it gets to express your gratitude towards him/her. pp has been a great colleague/friend/sister to me and we hit off well. we share many fun moments together, the late night supper, the late weekends working in office, the ktv sessions, the msn chats, my birthday and the cab rides home together. the time has come for her to move on when she accepts a job opportunity overseas. before she leaves, this is what i want to say to her..

dear pp,

thanks for everything, especially being the 1st one to celebrate my 26th birthday. thanks for tolerating my ‘cold jokes’ and always encouraging me to pursue my ‘big dreams’. you are always taking care of others and maybe it is time for you to take a break. i guess a change of environment will do you good since the pace overseas is much slower and probably you will have more time to reflect and learn new things. although there may be new challenges ahead, but i believe you will overcome them with the right attitude. sometimes when things do not go your way, it is time to learn to let go and take stride in whatever that happens. we can never turn back time but we can look forward and treasure the present moment. i see this quote from my poster and thought it will be meaningful to share with you.

live life to the fullest
each day is precious and so full of wonderful possibilities.
do not waste your day by worrying about your problems.
leave all your worries behind.
fill your life with peace and serenity.
enjoy the simple pleasures in this complex world.
happiness lies within you.

i believe you will find your answers and attain the absolute happiness within yourself. i will miss your laughter, hugs, ears pulling and treasure the great memories that we have together. remember to take care of yourself as nothing matters more than health. with a healthy mind and body, you can achieve more than what you think. believe in yourself and be brave as we will be fighting alongside with you here.

remember, princess is hard job, but somebody has to do it. be a true princess and one day, you will meet your knight in shining armour. = )

pp and me @ dinner and dance 2006

bon voyage! thanks for the book and till we meet again...

timing beyond reach

i have been trying to arrange for a gathering today.. but everyone's timing just could not accommodate..

timing... doing the right thing(s) at the right time or meeting the right person(s) at the right time.. however, sometimes we do the right thing(s) at the wrong time or vice versa.. and to make things worse, somtimes we meet the right person(s) at the wrong time or vice versa.. is timing within or beyond our control?

it is getting harder and harder to arrange even a simple dinner when everyone has different schedules and difficult to commit their time.. mainly because of work or things that happen at the last minute.. we have less and less personal time to do the things we want or meet our family and friends... every gathering becomes the fruit of all communications flying around, finding the best time that fits everyone..

i guess we should treasure every gathering... with our busy schedules, we never know when we will meet again next time..

time to go for my gathering...

04:00

it's 4am and i am still awake.. i just knocked off from work awhile ago and finally settling down in front of my computer after my shower.. it has been a good 3 weeks since i last updated my blog.. wow.. time really flies.. been quite busy with an engagement recently and the 2 things i want to do when i reach home is to shower and sleep. basically, it becomes a routine and time just passes by like that. this signifies that i am into my 3rd peak period of my job.. as a senior, i have more responsibilities, more things to think and assistants to guide.. when time is pressing, i need to think quick to make a decision and to be able to see the big picture before planning for my work.. although i might make mistakes along the way, but i guess we all learn from our mistakes and experience... just move on and we get better along the way..

this time round, i am going to pace and not overstretch myself.. still a long way to go for the peak period... in a few hours later, i might be reporting for work again and i hope i can finish it soon... keeping my fingers crossed... haha...

p/s: hey babe.. time to go home...

new year @ 2007

it is just like another day, except that the year has changed.. we have crossed over the last day of year 2006 into the 1st day of year 2007.. a time to reflect what i have achieved over the last 12 months and what i want to achieve in the next 12 months.. i remembered that in 2005, a friend told me to write down my 10 memorable events/things in 2005, 10 things i want to forget in 2005 and 10 resolutions for 2006.. to reflect what i have achieved and to set resolutions for the new year.. after a year and looking back at my resolutions, i actually managed to achieve most of them! haha.. well, to me, resolutions do not need to be anything real big, but something that i want to achieve/overcome in the new year.. i am glad i am able to achieve what i set out..

looking ahead to the new year, here are my 10 memorable events/things in 2006, 10 things i want to forget in 2006 and 10 resolutions for 2007..

10 memorable events/things in 2006:
1) valentine's day
2) trekking trip @ gunung tahan
3) trekking trip @ gunung korbu
4) holiday trip @ taiwan
5) business trip @ shenzhen
6) diving trip @ phuket
7) last visit to the doctor
8) blood donation
9) launch of my blog
10) making the photo album for manager with the sunny team

10 things i want to forget in 2006:
1) my tears
2) my sadness
3) my stress
4) my fears
5) my procrastination
6) my anger
7) my impatience
8) my mood swings
9) my expectations on others
10) my insensitivity towards others

10 resolutions for 2007:
1) to get my CPA
2) to get a new job
3) to be contented
4) to be truthful
5) to be courageous
6) to exercise more
7) to have a balanced lifestyle
8) to love & care for my family and friends
9) to love myself
10) to be happy

just want to express my thanks to my family and friends for all the good times or bad times in year 2006, making me a better person in one way or the other...

have a great 2007 ahead... cheers... = )

donkey @ loose

time flies and donkey is biding us goodbye. i have worked with him on his first engagement and the whole team (with goofy, scallop & pp) hit off well since then. we had lots of fun and laughter during the engagement, making the work seemed less stressful then. it is great sadness that we are going on separate paths to pursue different dreams...

there are many characteristics of him that leaves ‘deep impression’ to us which i thought i should probably share a few here.

he is someone,

who looks like the donkey in the movie, ‘shrek’, but refuses to acknowledge it.

who spends time styling his hair but looks like a ‘bird nest’ to us.

who gives the nickname ‘tian mu’ to pp and gets his ears pulled by her every time he says something wrong.

who subscribes to the daily horoscope via his handphone and takes heed to them at times.

who shows others the ‘tube’ video clip and gets excited over it every time he watches it again.

who crumples up the schedules that the client gives him.

who plays the role of ‘christine’ and gets goofy baffled during the engagement.

who eats up the client’s biscuits and yet blames us of having a share too.

who talks very loud over the phone as if someone has owed him a great deal of money.

who reminds us of the after 5pm ‘happy hour’ when he will start cracking jokes and making us laugh till our stomachs are in pain.

who sings real good and gets high singing david tao’s and jay chou’s songs during ktv.

well versed in geography and teaches scallop that london is in england and paris is in france.

donkey and me @ dinner and dance 2005

donkey, thanks for the wonderful times and from the bottom of my heart, i wish you the very best in your future endeavors! you will be greatly missed…

take care!

wee hours @ one raffles quay

it is in the wee hours of the night and i am still in office... trying to finish the work so that i can have a peaceful break next week.. there are a number of things i want to do during my break.. well, probably going to be a busy week as well, but i guess i will enjoy it much more.. meeting up with friends, reading some books, watching some movies or simply just day dreaming at home.. time to recharge my batteries and have some quality time with myself...

are many of us too immersed in our work that we forget how to communicate and understand ourselves better? to find out what we really want in lives or just letting ourselves go with the flow? probably time is a main factor since we are always occupied with the daily routine stuff that drain us so much.. the first thing we want to do when we get home is just to lie down in our beds and sleep.. before we know it, the new day has begun and the routine starts again.. will we ever get out of the cycle or the environment/circumstances just does not permit us, leaving us with little choices? or are we brave enough to make a U turn and go against the flow?

i guess i am currently with the flow, trying to anaylse the whole situation that i have put myself into.. keeping myself busy by observing what others are thinking and doing.. this makes everyday more interesting and fulfilling.. haha..

i hope i have the courage to make my U turn at the next cross junction...

a week @ work

wow… it was a busy week with a number of things happening in office. i was assigned to a new job at macpherson this week since my other job could not start on time.. how fascinated i was when i saw the client's office. it was an open concept where all the meeting rooms were glass paned and the partitions of the cubicles were low. you could see the expressions of everyone when they were having meeting in the room. haha.. how amazing.. my team got settled down in a smaller meeting room called ‘think tank III’ and i thought the name sounded quite interesting too.. however, the round table in the meeting room was not big enough for the 6 of us and 1 of the assistants had to work on the sofa outside the meeting room.. he looked quite cozy working there though. haha.. the team members were friendly and nice and 1 of them was my final year project mate in NTU.. i finally got a chance to work with her ever since we joined the firm.. haha.. we got busy flipping through the files, enquiring the client and documenting our findings throughout the week..

i also attended my firm’s annual dinner and dance this thursday (7 december 2006) at swissotel the stamford.. it was my 3rd time attending the dinner and dance and i wondered whether there would be a 4th time.. haha.. i shall wait and see till then.. everyone was dressed up for the occasion and it was a round of eating, drinking and photo-taking with the colleagues. as part of the entertainment programme, those new colleagues who had joined us recently were asked to put up performances according to departments. 6 departments participated and my department won the 3rd place, while the tax department emerged as the winner, 2nd time in a row. it brought back sweet memories when i recalled my 1st year joining the firm. i participated in the performance that year and we won the 1st place! it was the team effort of everyone and some of us got closer ever since.. i left around 11 plus after the lucky draw, winning nothing this year. a colleague in my department won the big prize of $5,000 travel voucher! haha… she was real lucky!

the team and our manager, chih shyan (4th from the left)

finally, my firm was busy shifting to our new office premise at one raffles quay on friday. all of us were busy packing our stuff last week, taking those that were needed and throwing away those unwanted ones. i was looking forward to the new office with new furniture and a pantry as well. haha.. i shall see the new office next monday then.. for remembrance sake, i took a few photos of the office where i had spent my last 2 ½ years busy working in before moving to the new working environment.

my workplace

this summed up the busy week and i could only get busier when the peak period is approaching.. shall brave myself through it one more time..

will it still be sunny?

the photo album was finally in her hands and she held it with thanks.. that was all we asked for.. it was a farewell dinner for our manager, swee ing who was leaving the firm on 15 November 2006.

she was the manager of the sunningdale (aka sunny) job for the last financial year. ms universe, babe and i would not have survived through that tough period without her. despite so many years in audit, she still had that sense of humor within her, making her a nice manager to work with. it was sad that she was leaving, but happy that she was going for greener pastures.

the 3 of us decided to make a photo album for her to remember the sweet memories she had with the firm. the sunny team members (past, present and future) gathered around to have their photos taken with her. of course, we wouldn't miss out the partner as well, chen.. haha..

the sunny family

ms universe bought the album, babe developed the photos and i brought the colour papers and markers. we went back to the office on monday night to rush out the photo album for dinner on tuesday. suddenly, it was back to the late nights, only this time, it was different. it was the thought of wanting to show our appreciation for a manager whom we had learnt so much from and would be greatly missed.

we set our creativity to work in designing every page of the album, from flowers to butterflies, from rabbit to snail or a page full of stars... it seemed like going back to the school days doing our art and craft.. haha.. everyone was contributing ideas and putting efforts to make the album look better. after 7 hours of cutting, pasting and writing, the album came 'alive'. we could not stop 'admiring' our hard work... cailing and ah tong lent a hand to make this happen too.. though we were mentally and physically tired, it was all worthwhile at the end..

this was what i had never anticipated when i was doing the sunny job. the job was tough, the hours were long and the only thought during that time was to get out of the job. it was easier said than done and we could only push on.. maybe the bonding and friendship built up along the way.. we encouraged and helped one another to overcome one obstacle after another.. luckily, swee ing was there to handle the bigger issues and the partner.. i guess tim was right, when i looked back, i treasured the tough times that we had together, gossiping and cracking jokes..

i guess everyone of us has to move on at some point in life.. i can only be glad that our paths have crossed..

swee ing and me

to our sunny manager, thanks for everything and take care.. = )

forever love

the song, 'forever love' by lee hom was broadcasted over the pa system and all the guests stood up to welcome the newly weds, patrick and judy.

the bride is my polytechnic friend for almost 10 years. it was great joy to attend her wedding dinner (11 November 2006) with xiao mei nu, another good friend of ours.. the 3 of us had wonderful memories of our polytechnic days and i am amazed that our friendship has lasted till now.

the 2 of them have registered for marriage for almost 6 years before having their customary ceremony. from interacting with patrick, i know that judy has found a good husband, patient and caring. although they have gone through a lot over the last few years, he has never given up caring for her and be by her side.. maybe he hasn't done well enough for her, but i know he has done so within his best ability.

there is still a long road ahead, a lot of things to learn from each other.. i hope they will learn to treasure and appreciate each other, to continue to care and love each other.. there will be ups and downs in the marriage life, but if they have the strong belief and trust towards each other, i'm sure they can overcome whatever obstacles ahead..

this blog is dedicated to them and from the bottom of my heart, i wish them happiness always.. forever love..

happy birthday to me

the clock stroke 12 on 6 November 2006 and pp (aka tian mu) sang me a birthday song with a sara-lee cake in her hands.

both of us were pathetically working in the office on sunday (5 November 2006) until we went for dinner around 7pm. while we were walking back from china square after our dinner, she suddenly had the craving for haagen dazs's cookies and cream ice-cream. so we went to the nearest 7-11 to buy her ice-cream and she also bought a sara-lee cake as well. she suggested that we stayed back in office untill 12am so that she could be the first one to celebrate my 26th birthday with me. haha.. how nice of her..

yes, it was an unique way to start off my birthday celebration this year, having a close colleague/friend/sister to be the first one to wish me.. i had a bite on the cake before we packed up to go home. i didn't think much about it then until i reached home. this year's birthday was a strong contrast from my birthday last year.. for some reason, i had a sad birthday last year and i was determined enjoy my birthday this year. emotions overwhelmed me and i was really grateful that pp was there to celebrate my birthday. tears came flowing when i sent her an sms to thank her for being there.. she had been a great listener and advisor over the past year, in work or life.. she is more than just a colleague to me.. thanks pp.. = )

i am 26 years old today, or you could say slightly more than half a century old.. haha.. personally, it had been a tough year as i thought i was undergoing my quarter-life crisis (or mid 20s crisis). i have no study loans to pay off, i have a good job, i have my friends and family with me, but.. i am not happy.. i don't know what i want in my life.. i have been searching for answers over the past few years and i thought the answers would come as i grow older.. but it didn't really come or maybe i hadn't seen them.. it got me frustrated and no one could really give me a satisfactory answer.. well, everyone has their own lives and probably i should be the one answerable for my own life, to know what i want in my life.. it was after the tahan climbing trip and reading some books, that i thought i had found my answers.

believe in yourself.. if i don't even believe in myself, nobody will.. this is what i have learnt from my climbing trip at tahan... it was this strong belief in myself that i made it through the tough climb. i couldn't believe it, but i did it.. there were some great lessons which i had learnt from the trip and kept them at the back of my mind as a constant reminder.. life couldn't be more tough than what i had gone through over that 7 days at tahan! haha..

learn to choose, learn to let go.. this is what i have learnt from a chinese book that i had bought in shenzhen during my last business trip. it teaches me that in life, we cannot have the best of both worlds and there is always a time where we need to make a choice. we can only choose one and let go of the other, no matter how difficult a decision may be.. just like that are 2 sides of the coin, you can only choose one.. in life, you can choose to see things in a negative way or a positive way.. and sometimes, success is dependent whether you have made a right choice at the right time..

suddenly, everything falls into place.. maybe, i haven't been confident about myself in the past, fear of making mistakes, fear of opinions and comments of others.. i let the fears consumed and controlled me until i wasn't making any good decisions.. it was a terrible period and i was at a loss.. probably it was a stage that i needed to go through to regain my confidence and overcome my fears..

now i want to live my life one more time.. and this time, i want to be confident, not afraid of making mistakes and not afraid to stand up for myself. if i fall, i just pick myself up and continue walking.. i want to take control of my life and not to let other opinions or comments sway me easily.. for some, this may be easily achieved by them.. but for me, i am glad that i finally find some answers.. the answers are just within me, when i persist long enough..

like what pp had wished me, to be contented.. i am learning to appreciate things that happened to me, for better or for worse.. to treasure and care for the people around me... this is a life learning journey and i want to sit back to enjoy it.. there are so much to explore and experience in life.. i am proud to say that i have found the happiness within myself and i hope to spread the same joy to the people around me..

look forward to a great year ahead at the age of 26...

p/s: many thanks to these people who have wished me throughout the day.. dl, wensheng, huifen, babe, ms universe (aka ah chua), wendy, ah kan, ms ee, mrs wong, xiao mei nu (for your wonderful present as well), april, yufen, xueying, peiying, lilin, scallop, philip, tim and bryan... = )

under the sea

3 days, 2 days, 1 day... seeing the days being counted down in ms ee's msn... yes.. we were finally on our way for our diving course at phuket! it was a quick decision for me to sign up for the course. ms ee had asked me few weeks ago whether i would be interested to learn diving and there was one answer in my mind, why not? life is full of uncertainties.. since there is an opportunity and company to learn something new, why not? it was a good timing since ms ee and i were on leave on the same week.. of course, we couldn 't forget scallop, who is avid in watersports too.. ms ee was kind enough to make all the air tickets, hotel and diving course bookings that scallop and i just need to pack our bags and turn up at the airport.. so off we went on the budget air to phuket...

it was a 4 days course, with classroom theories, pool trainings and finally the open water dives.. our instructor was marco, who quitted his job in holland and came to phuket to be a diving instructor 1 and 1/2 years ago.. wow.. really admired these people who are able to let go of everything to pursue their interests and passion.. wonder when i will ever have the guts to do that.. anyway, he was a really good and humorous instructor, kept telling us that diving was really easy once we mastered the skills.. haha.. highly recommended if you want to learn diving too.. i guessed diving was not that hard, just remember to ALWAYS breathe with your mouth! number 1 rule to take note.. most of the skills he taught were life saving skills, just in case we met with an emergency underwater.. life is so fragile and you could only save yourself in whatever circumstances you face.. just don't panic, remain calm and do whatever that is most right in that situation..

from left: ms ee, me, marco and scallop

have you ever been amazed of how fishes swim and breathe underwater effortlessly? well, humans manage to overcome this, with the help of an oxygen tank and diving equipment of course.. the feeling of being able to swim underwater freely was simply beyond words.. you feel like a fish.. n more than often, i felt that i was swimming in an aquarium during my open water dives.. haha.. i could see lots of different kinds of fishes and corals with different colours and sizes, so close and swimming around me.. just like there were different kinds of human beings of different colours and nationalities.. i guess there is a different world under the sea, living to their best abilities.. the nature has rules of its own, so let's just swim around to enjoy the beauty of nature...

it was truly relaxing in phuket.. besides diving, we went shopping, eating, thai massage, photo taking, snorkeling and island visits.. a good getaway from the hectic working life in singapore.. back to the basics of living where we are away from the work stress and worries to recharge.. enjoying the sun, the sea and the sand..

now with my diving licence, what's next? sky diving! awaiting for another opportunity to come... meanwhile, maybe i should visit other dive sites as well.. till then..