coincidence?

this kind of coincidence gives me goose bumps.

my friend was working for an events management company over the past few years and recently, he needed people to work as an usher for a conference event at marina bay sands for 2 days. since i was not working and my exploring machine at loose, i thought it was no harm to try it out, just for the experience.

the goose bumps came when he called me the day before and told me that the conference event was for my ex audit firm. i was stunned when i heard this! such a coincidence! after leaving the firm for 4 years, i got ‘reunited’ with the firm, but in a different role. for a moment, i started to imagine how i should react if i bumped into one audit partner whom i worked with previously. however, since i agreed to work, would just go with it and see what turned out. i might not even bump into him at all.

when i got there the next day, i realized that it was a partners conference where the audit partners in the area pacific region flew in for the conference. the usher role was to be human arrow to direct the audit partners who were staying at the marina bay sands hotel through the underpass to the convention centre for their conference. 10 of us were allocated different spots to stand with our ‘lollipop’ signage.

it was seriously no joke to keep standing for hours. by the 4^th hour, my legs were seriously aching and i was looking forward to my 15 minutes break. it was a great relief on the legs when i could sat down finally.

after my break, i was assigned to stand at the convention centre level. i was present to the increase in likelihood of bumping into my audit partner. indeed! while i was standing at my spot and turning my head towards the conference rooms, i saw that audit partner approaching my direction with another person. my heart jumped for a second! how should i react??? i kept looking at him but he was not really responding back. maybe, he did not recognize me. after all, my hairstyle was different from the last time he saw me. i tried to act busy and avoid direct eye contact with him. luckily he walked past me just like that. how close could this be! speaking of the devil! such luck!

for the last 1.5 hours of my shift, i was walking around the different spots to relieve some of them who needed to take a break. the first day finally ended. i survived 7 hours of standing!

i reported work at 6.45am on the second day as they were having a breakfast session in the morning. so early! in the middle of my shift, i was called to help out with the microphones in the conference room with 3 other friends. i found myself standing inside the conference room. i thought this was a pretty amazing encounter. even if i stayed on in the firm, i would never had a chance to attend such a conference unless i slogged myself to become an audit partner, which obviously would not be my choice. with the unfolding of events, i saw more overseas audit partners than i ever seen and even got to 'attend' the conference, even though in a different role. more goose pumps…

another amazing thing was i managed to spot my audit partner sitting at the end of the row among more than 1,000 audit partners in the conference room. was this what some people say, “the more you avoid something, the more it appears in front of you.”?

adding on to this, i recalled an incident while i was working with the firm. an audit manager asked me if i were not an auditor, what would i rather do? i told her i would want to work in an events management company, to organize events. after 4 years, i was actually working in an events management company, though in a small way, for the firm when i said that. such creepy coincidence...

it was not easy to stand for a long period but this assignment allowed me to experience many things and fulfilled something i said in the past. still worth it. = )

i am starting to believe that life has its way to let you fulfill the things you want to fulfill. you just need to be ready, patient and sharp enough to see the opportunities when they unfold.

waiting for my next coincidence to happen…

inspirational quote by me

when we have the courage to face our past, we have the strength to live our future.

doing something by doing nothing

doing something by doing nothing. this sounds a bit contradicting. how can one be doing something by doing nothing? i am exploring the act of doing nothing, with the intention of doing nothing for a moment, a minute or the next 5 minutes.

often, humans cannot stand doing nothing. once we are not doing something, we begin to feel useless, not productive or not contributing to the society. in the end, we get ourselves busy by doing something, anything, just not letting ourselves to be in a state of doing nothing. do we feel tired from doing all the time? maybe for a moment, but the next moment, we start to get ourselves occupied or distracted. we get so used to doing something all the time that we feel uneasy when we are doing nothing. the question is, where are we heading towards?

some time last year, someone asked me, “what do i want to do now?” during that time, i was overwhelmed by a lot of things, emotionally and mentally, making me feel tired and frustrated. a tiny voice was shouting very loudly inside me, “i want to do nothing!” a sense of rebelliousness was brewing inside me, ready to reject anything that was coming my way. i just wanted to stay still and quiet. i could not understand what the rush was for. i could see nothing. i needed a bigger purpose in front to propel me forward.

this year, i decided to give myself the time and space to deliberately do nothing, to be present to the passing of time. it was like i was on the main path and i took a deliberate detour onto the forest trail. i was taking my time to walk, to feel the forest, to listen to my heart, to reflect in my mind, to be in the moment. there was no rush, only serenity. i felt at peace and happy, a moment to treasure. 

in the busyness of life, we should give ourselves the time and space to experience the moment of doing nothing...

walking on a forest trail

the book café

it was a saturday morning and i was walking from clarke quay mrt station to robertson quay. i was on my way to a morning gathering session with some friends at 9am. we were planning to meet at a café place at robertson quay. i was looking at my watch when i reached liang court and realised it was 8:51am! 9 more minutes to go! estimating the distance and time, i needed to run to make it in time. when i was approaching, i saw the little red car parking outside the café. rare occasion that the rest were there already. =p  i finally stepped into the café at 8:57am, feeling out of breath. phew! just in time!

the name of the café was interesting, it was literally named as “the book café”. the place was not too small, with indoor and outdoor seating area, allowing you to choose, depending on your mood of the day. for the interior, there was the sofa seating area, with big sofas, coffee tables and soft lighting, creating a cozy living room ambience for morning breakfast.

we were sitting at the chair area, which was spacious and comfortable as well. around the café, there were shelves of books and latest magazines, free to pick any for browsing. framed posters were hanged on the walls, giving it a tint of sophisticated feel.

they served a wide variety of food, including all day breakfast. the service of the staff was warm and friendly when taking our orders and asking about our feedback on the food. i even had a lovely birthday surprise when the staff brought up a piece of birthday chocolate cake at the end of our meeting session! my friends sang me a birthday song and i made my birthday wish! the chocolate cake was delicious! thanks gals!

i had a great time with good company, a cup of mocha and fantastic cake! the book café provided the much needed space for busy city dwellers to gather and relax or just to let their minds go empty.

thumbs up for the book café!

http://www.thebookcafe.com.sg/

the book café

my birthday cake!

math

today is my 31st birthday...

i have lived on this plant for...
31 years or
11,315 days or
271,560 hours or
16,293,600 minutes

most of the time, i spent it wondering what my truest self was... where did i leave it? luckily, for the past 2 years, i managed to find some answers...

i am thinking, if i ever live till 71 years old, that would be another...
40 years
14,600 days or
350,400 hours or
21,024,000 minutes

the next question is, what do i want to create? how do i want to create?

sophie's world

sophie's world, a novel about the history of philosophy, by jostein gaarder.

an unexpected encounter with this book when i bought it at a roadside bookstall in shanghai 2 years ago, but had not read it until recently. that time, i was walking along the road with my colleagues after dinner and we chanced upon a roadside bookstall. we started browsing and 1 of my colleagues, coly recommended this book to me. i thought it was no harm to add a good book at home and so i bought it.

2 years later, i was browsing my bookshelf, deciding on the next book to read. this book caught my attention. as i reached into my bookshelf and picked up this book, i did not know that an exciting journey through the history of philosophy was awaiting me. the story started to unfold. there was a story within a story, with a twist that kept me reading and reading.

somehow, i felt that THIS was the right moment to read this book than if i were to read 2 years ago. sophie's and my path finally crossed. this was what i needed to understand at this stage of my life..

it was interesting that every encounter with a book, reading it and the insights it brought after reading, could very well be an inspiring story by itself. did it just happen by chance or was there a reason behind it? had the bookstall not been there that night, had we not walked on that road that night, had i not gone to shanghai, had i not been assigned to that engagement, had i not... i like this kind of encounter, where everything falls in place, just waiting for the moment to unfold...

thanks, sophie! or is it alberto, hilde or major albert?

sophie's world

倔强

here's another mayday song that i resonate a lot recently... like the lyrics very much, especially the first two verses... 当我和世界不一样　那就让我不一样...

倔强

作词: 阿信  作曲: 阿信

當　我和世界不一樣　那就讓我不一樣　

堅持對我來說　就是以剛克剛
我　如果對自己妥協　如果對自己說謊　
即使別人原諒　我也不能原諒

最美的願望　一定最瘋狂
我就是我自己的神　在我活的地方
我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放
下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強

對　愛我的人別緊張　我的固執很善良

我的手越骯髒　眼神越是發光
你　不在乎我的過往　看到了我的翅膀
你說被火燒過　才能出現鳳凰
逆風的方向　更適合飛翔
我不怕千萬人阻擋　只怕自己投降
我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放
下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強

我和我最後的倔強　握緊雙手絕對不放

下一站是不是天堂　就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強　我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂　就這一次　我和我的倔強
就這一次　讓我大聲唱
啦啦啦...   就算失望　不能絕望
啦啦啦...   就這一次　我和我的倔強

九号球

been listening to mayday songs recently and the song, 九号球 keeps humming in my head. feels that the lyrics somehow describe how i feel recently, at my crossroads again. the indescribable feelings in me, which i cannot put into words. what am i trying to tell myself? need some inspiration from them…

九号球

作词: 阿信  作曲: 怪兽

逃走 翻过围墙 我只能逃走 从教室里头

奔向自由 熟悉角落 有人在等我 有挑衅的笑容

今天谁先开球 让谁常点苦头

绿色地平线上 我撞著 彩色堕落

也许我这一杆 又没办法进球

就像我的生活 一直在出差错

也许我这一生 始终在追逐那颗九号球

却忘了 是谁在爱我

却忘了 是谁在罩著我

从前 书包很满 装不下的梦 就丢了一些

未来我们 要怎么活 凝视著白球 暂时我不去想

天空渐渐变红 影子爬满球桌

输赢没有结果 像人生 难以捉摸

也许我这一杆 又没办法进球

就像我的生活 一直在出差错

也许我这一生 始终在追逐那颗九号球

却忘了 是谁在爱我

却忘了 是谁在罩著我

a sea of blue

i am talking to wayne recently and mayday comes into the picture. she is a fan of mayday and so am i! she is sharing with me about mayday song lyrics and how she is inspired by them. yes, they definitely have a lot of inspiring songs that i like and not to be missed to sing at ktv!

this reminded me of the mayday concert i attended in shanghai 2 years ago. it all started when i was assigned for a business trip to shanghai in july 2009 with cckk and coly. at that time, i was not aware that they would be having a concert in shanghai. it happened coincidentally when we were going to a convenience store near our hotel on one of the evenings. as we were nearing the convenience store, their dna concert poster pasted outside caught my eye. i still remembered that i grasped when i saw it! as i looked closer, i saw that we would still be in shanghai during the concert day! oh my gosh! it really got me excited to want to attend the concert! not a chance to be missed! i went to google on how to purchase the concert ticket. cckk and coly got influenced by me and wanted to go as well. hahaha!!! after a few phone calls and confirmation of our seats, we finally got the tickets delivered to the office! we were waiting for the big day to come!

it was all crowded when we made our way to the hongkou football stadium on 4 july 2009. fans were swarming from all over and roadside peddlers were selling light sticks to the fans. this was getting excited by the minute! when we were seated, we could see a sea of blue when everyone lighted the blue light sticks. it was moving. i was really amazed by the impact that mayday had created from their music to the fans out there. their pursuit of dreams, passion, perseverance and hard work were all in their music, bringing them to where they were today. they deserved the crowd and applause.

the concert started with a loud bang and continued throughout with fast and slow songs. the energy was high on the stage as well as off the stage. the fans knew their songs by heart and were singing alongside with them. it sounded like a massive ktv session. we could not miss to join in the fun! their songs somehow resonated with many of us, as if they understood how we felt and the struggles to go through. it felt like emotional release and therapy to sing their songs out loud! it was an awesome concert!!!

a small episode happened when we came out of the stadium after the concert ended. as the train station was no longer in service, we had to take a cab back to the hotel. there were so many people waiting for cabs and we took a long walk down some unknown roads until we finally managed to grab a cab.

one of the songs that became our theme song during the trip was 春天的呐喊 (scream of spring)! pay particular attention to the lyrics! hahaha! really suited us because we ended up working in shanghai for 7 weeks due some unexpected delays. needed a song to vent out the work stress!

nevertheless, it was all worth it for mayday concert!  i hope one day, i could attend their concert in their home ground, taiwan! it would be a totally different experience… = )

p/s: cckk and coly, those were the good memories!!! except for the work part... =p

crowd gathered outside the stadium

crowd seated inside the stadium

a sea of blue!

春天的呐喊!

作词: 阿信  作曲: 怪兽

不要叫我比赛 不要再看我成绩单 

不要再无奈 不要再忍耐 不要再让我伤肝

天天都火腿蛋 天天都排骨鸡腿饭

我需要扭转 我需要意外 我需要感觉存在

当阳光很冷淡 心情很吉普赛

没人能挡住我 跟平凡掰掰

方向盘指向南 一路都不转弯

除非我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊

压力要甩 忧郁要推翻
爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊
喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾
一生能有几次跟世界宣战

不想再当模范 不想要再当乖乖牌

我只想摇摆 我只想旋转 我只想阂到腿软

让冬天被打败 让春天冲上了舞台 

让热血变红 让天空变蓝 让我把无聊炸开

看羚羊草枝摆 我爱上大自然

来不及等泪乾 来不及防晒

浪漫只怕太慢 痛快只怕太快

快让我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊
压力要甩 忧郁要推翻
爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊
喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾
一生能有几次跟世界宣战

当阳光很冷淡 心情很吉普赛

没人能挡住我 跟平凡掰掰

方向盘指向南 一路都不转弯

除非我看到沙滩 看到大海看到未来

爽要呐喊 不爽更好喊

压力要甩 忧郁要推翻

爽要呐喊 用力的呐喊

喊到流汗 喊到没遗憾

一生能有几次跟世界宣战

一生能有几次终於没人管

一生能有几次跟世界宣战

things are created twice

i went for a leaders conference last weekend at johor bahru. it was a fun and relaxing yet reflective weekend. there was one activity where the organizer gave us different colours of plasticine, those that we used to play when we were young, and wanted us to create something using the plasticine. i totally had no idea what to create and got stuck! until he said that we were responsible adults and should be able to carry out a simple task like this, did i finally calmed myself down to start thinking and doing. eventually, i molded a book (named life), a pencil and a coffee cup with a saucer!

he said something at the end of the activity that left a deep impression in me. he said, “things are created twice, one is created in your mind and one is created in reality.” how true! as i reflected back, i did had the images of the book, pencil and coffee cup with a saucer in my mind before i started to mold them out one by one.

on a bigger context, we often create many things in our minds, our dreams, the kind of lifestyles we want to live or the things that we want to do. however, how many do we really create in reality? we are stopped by some unknown fears and get stuck in our minds. as time passes, we tell ourselves that it is alright, it is just a faraway dream and it becomes long forgotten. maybe we just need to understand the in between, of what it takes to put dreams into reality. understanding what is stopping us and overcoming the obstacles one by one. otherwise, what else is there to do? 

my book (named life), pencil and coffee cup with saucer!

re-org

re-org stands for reorganize in short. i heard it from a friend of mine who kept saying this during our trekking trips. he would say to re-org his bag, re-org the group and whatsoever. therefore, for the past 1 week, i was busy reorganizing my stuff at home. i started to flip through my 4 ikea boxes and bookshelves to see what could be thrown away. what amazed me was that i still kept my polytechnic notes 10 years ago! talking about holding onto old things, i was holding them real tightly! time to let them go! it was a tug and war between discarding and retaining the things. with more and more things piling but less and less space, some things just had to go. out went the long obsolete lecture and training notes, the unread magazines, the useless mailers from the banks and other stuff to make space for new things.

the headache part was how to reorganize the rest of the things that managed to survive the destiny of discard (at least for now). it called for immerse discipline and energy to keep clearing, cleaning and reshuffling things around. finally after 1 week of hard work, a new lease of life was injected into the long dead bookshelves! until the next re-org.

it definitely feels lighter when things are neat and tidy. my room looks more zen now! hahaha! physical clutters cleared!

my pile of old old notes!

i am back!

i am back! after 3 years, 6 months and 3 days of disappearance! i am starting to blog again! it all started when my friend, zee, who was sharing excitedly about her blog and decided to re-blog again! sort of inspired me to revive my blog too! 2 things would remain, the blog name and use of small letters. i am still aligned to mastering the art of simplicity in my life and use of small letters seem to make every word equal.

my gosh! time flies!!! a brief update, i have recently quitted my internal auditor job (briefly mentioned in my entry dated on 23 december 2007) and finally granted myself a break first before i move onto other things. there are definitely a lot of changes over the span of 3 years, 6 months and 3 days, even the runaway princess (entry dated on 28 january 2007) has come back to her homeland once again. in fact, she has been working in the same company with me for the past 1 and ½ year. this time, it is my turn to run away. =p

i am definitely excited to blog more about the memorable events that happened over the past 3 years. no more writing of “would”, “could” and “should”, but more free flow writing! yeah!

as a new start, i aspire this blog to have a viral effect in the internet world, create a refreshing wave of expression and a new addiction where you can’t wait to go home for your dose of fun-ness and craziness! may this blog prosper! huat ah!

embracing 2008

it is the start of another new year, to reflect on the past year and set new resolutions for the coming year. it had been a peaceful 2007 for me except that i finally changed my job, with more time for myself...

with a new beginning, these are the eventful memories in 2007 and my resolutions for 2008…

eventful memories in 2007:
1) change of job
2) diving trips @ perhentian
3) holiday trip @ vietnam & cambodia
4) watching soccer @ cuppage road
5) learning to blade @ east coast park

resolutions for 2008:
1) to be happier
2) to be in control
3) to be more focused
4) to do more
5) to read more
6) to be more open minded
7) to be more organized
8) to be more positive
9) to be more confident
10) to be more decisive

to my friends and myself, may year 2008 be full of hope and surprises… cheers… = )

moving on...

it was more than 2 months since i started on my new job in october. having to work in my ex company for 3 years, i decided it was time for a change and move on. i started looking out for new opportunities in july. it was a tedious process of writing resume, sending out resume, going for interviews and waiting for replies. finally, i accepted an offer from a food manufacturing company and almost immediately i tendered my resignation letter without much consideration. i had requested for early release and served only 2 weeks’ notice before i began my 3 weeks holiday to vietnam and cambodia with ms ee. the timing was good as i had planned for the trip before my resignation and when the new offer came by, i thought it would be a good break before starting on the new job.

it was a quiet goodbye to my ex company with mixed feelings. i would miss the great colleagues/friends whom I had known and helped me along the way. with them, work meant something more than just work. it was not without a tinge of sadness to leave them for greener pastures. nevertheless, i knew it was time for me to move on to explore other opportunities. i would remember the wonderful times we had together and the friendships made. thanks for everything… = )

in future, i would be on my own to face the new working environment, new colleagues and new job scope. may everything turns out well...

a moment of thought

it’s so easy to do nothing… sitting quietly at one corner, observing things happening before your eyes, listening to the sounds around you and letting your mind daydreaming away… before you know it, time has just slipped by… it’s so easy to do nothing in a lazy afternoon…

celebrating my birthday

dinner at chijmes and drinking at new asia bar with a couple of friends... contented... thanks to xueying and yufen... = )

p/s: many thanks to all my friends who have sent me birthday wishes throughout the day...

serenity in a faraway island

the sun started to set at the horizon of the sea, blended into the blue sky. we were standing at coral bay, looking at the sunset. it was beautiful...

sunset at coral bay

coral bay was located at perhentian kecil, a small island near the state of terengganu, malaysia. i went there to take my advanced diving course and ms ee had accompanied me for some fun dives. we reached on a sunday morning (15 july 2007) after 14 hours of travel by train, van and ferry. the island looked the same except for the undergoing construction of a jetty at one side of coral bay. such major change within a short span of 2 months since we last visited in may.

we headed for the dive school and were greeted by familiar faces, the boss and the diving instructors. the dive shop was not too big but cozy and nicely decorated, with paintings of fishes on the walls of the shop or being hanged up. all the paintings were done by sebastian, my diving instructor. i must say he has a talent in drawing and painting, able to capture the distinct features of the various types of fishes and paint them out. there was a boat-like long table in the centre of the shop which was used to hold oxygen tanks and equipment. the divers would check their oxygen tanks and equipment there before carrying them to the speed boat and set off for their dive. tables and chairs were also laid out at one side of the shop for the dive instructors to conduct theory lessons or for the divers to sit around to have a chat. we spent most of our time in the dive shop, sitting around, reading books and observing each day passing by. throughout the day, the dive instructors would be busy preparing the equipment for the dive trips, explaining the different dive spots to the divers and bringing them out to the sea to dive. we met a couple of japanese diving instructors, mikki and noriko as well as a couple of japanese divers, natsumi and haruna. although I could not understand japanese language, it was fascinating to hear and observe them talking to one another. their faces were always full of expressions, interested in whatever one another was talking about. it looked like a small cultural exchange when we exchanged information about ourselves and our countries.

steffen sea sports dive school

my diving instructor, sebastian

paintings on the wall by sebastian

perhentian islands painted by sebastian

fish paintings by sebastian

japanese divers

i completed my advanced diving course in 3 days. the course included knowledge learning and 5 dives, namely underwater photography, underwater navigation, night diving, wreck diving and deep diving. i was quite nervous during my first dive, underwater photography, as it was more than half a year ago since I last dived. my heart was thumbing real fast the moment i went underwater. luckily everything went smoothly, though i was rather busy controlling my breathing and buoyancy than admiring the underwater world. i became more at ease in my subsequent dives to enjoy looking at the fishes and corals.

underwater corals taken by me

it was a different experience every time i dived, even at the same dive spot as there was so much to explore and see. i saw cuttlefish hunting for food during the night diving, like watching national geographic underwater. i saw stringrays lying quietly on the sandy bottom, sea turtle seeking food and schools of yellow-tail fishes swimming in front of us. there were many other species of fishes such as puffer fish, box fish, lion fish, clown fish, trigger fish and moray eel. it always amazed me to observe them swimming around effortlessly. I wondered whether they would be amazed by us as well, having so much equipment just to swim around. = p

the island stay was peaceful and quiet where time seemed to slow down. There wasn’t much hustle and you would not see people rushing anywhere. Tourists were either leisurely strolling or sun tanning on the beach. Otherwise, they would be relaxing in the cafes or out diving in the sea. it was a great contrast compared to the lifestyle in Singapore where everyone was always in a hurry. I learnt to enjoy the slower pace of life there where nothing else seemed significant except for the present moment. One could simply relaxed and let the time pass by. Looking at the sea and hearing the sound of waves splashing onto the shore had a smoothing and calming effect to the body and mind as well. i could also see different kinds of people coming to the island for different reasons, some for work while others for holiday, just like us. they were friendly to share their experiences and cultures, opening up my insights and perspectives of things that i never thought of.

group photo

from left standing: jacky, ms ee, me, sebastian & natsumi

from left sitting: mikki, noriko & haruna

a week’s holiday soon came to an end where we had to pack our bags and return to our homeland. we were drawn back to reality once again, going through to the routines of everyday life... i truly look forward to my next diving trip…

till then…

emotionless state of mind?

it has always been my favorite moment, to relax in my room at night after a day of activities.. i enjoy the quietness of the night where i have time for myself and letting my thoughts run..

i have been feeling funny these days, though i cannot really pinpoint what is the cause or why i am feeling this way.. is it a sense of weariness of my current life? a routined life which revolves mostly around work, leaving little energy for other things? besides work, there are other stuff to do everyday and by the time i am done with those, it is bedtime again.. maybe i am lacking some form of change or excitement to stimulate my interest for new things.. this is frustrating when i feel something is not right but i am not sure what i should do… i am neither very happy or very sad.. am i getting emotionless and too rational? or is it a tinge of sadness that many times we can only accept things that have happened?

i have been thinking a lot about the past, things that i had been through, happy or sad, and the people whom i have known throughout the years.. there isn’t anything fantastic about my past, but it does mould me into who i am today, my thoughts and perspective of things.. i am grateful to many people who have directly or indirectly helped me along the way, especially during the last few years.. they have taught me about patience, determination, perseverance and meaning of life.. the last few years have been my toughest so far and i am glad that i am back on track again.. there are great memories and friendships made and i treasure them deeply in my heart.. we should not take things for granted and things often happen for a reason or a lesson to be learnt.. maybe as we grow older, some things that seem important in the past, do not seem so important now..

i am still searching for answers..

pursuit of happiness

what is happiness? everyone around me seems to be pursuing happiness lately.... when is the last time you are happy? is it something that we can measure or feel? how does it feel like? is it given by someone? no one can really give me a definite answer.. i guess everyone of us has a different definition about happiness.. maybe to someone, having a lot of money is happiness.. to others, a successful career is happiness.. or maybe just having a good meal can be considered happiness.. why are we busy searching for happiness? how does it feel like? when will we find the answer to this question? is there an answer to this question, or the answer is there, but we never really take a good look at it..

maybe it can be associated with contentment... to be contented with whatever you have, to treasure the people, the things that you have... we only have 1 pair of hands and there is so much that we want to hold onto.. or is it about unconditional giving to other people, not expecting anything in return?

all the while, i am seeking the answer to this question and i dwell on it when i can't find the answer.. suddenly, i realise that i am going in the wrong direction.. the answer is just right in front of me.. just that i never take good notice or appreciate it.. listen to your heart closely.. it tells you when you are happy or sad.. manify your happiness and minimise your misery..

i guess it is the little things in life that made up the happiness, not the big things.. little things and actions in life that touch your heart... maybe we never realise how fortunate we are already, but always trying to seek more and more.. then we get lost along the way... instead, we feel more misersable.. maybe if we focus on making people happy, we will naturally feel happy as well..

maybe no matter how much people tell you, you will never know until you experience yourself.. until you make the first move to truly make someone happy...

a work-free weekend

i realize time flies faster when i am relaxing and doing things i enjoy. after two months of late nights and working during weekends, i finally decide to give myself a break this weekend to run some personal errands.

i woke up on a saturday morning with a call from xueying. she was attending violin lessons at a music school in my neighborhood and we arranged to have breakfast together. the hawker centre was bustling with people queuing up to buy breakfast. we chatted over breakfast about our recent lives and found out that she would be going to USA to visit her sister. we sat for a while to wait for the photo shop to open to take photos for her visa. as i was planning to go diving in malaysia, she was giving me some information of the place, since she had gone there diving before. she is an avid diver and she loves to see turtles underwater. her love for turtles could be seen by the number of turtle soft toys that she had and i was amazed when i saw the photo of her collection.

after bidding her goodbye, i went home to prepare for my next appointment. i arranged with my colleagues to visit another colleague of ours who just had an operation at kk hospital. we were glad to see that she was doing fine after the operation, with good appetite and watching animations.

after that, i made my way to lavender street to buy bus tickets for my diving trip. the ironic thing was that i realized i had no money for the tickets when i reached there! guessed i got ‘overheated’ by the hot weather to remember to withdraw some money. i went around searching for an atm machine before returning back to the bus terminal again.

the last errand to run for the day was to get myself a mp3 player. i met up with my sister at sim lim square where there were lots of electronic shops to shop around and compare prices. i didn’t have a good idea of what brands were available in the market now. i wanted to get a MP3 player with music storage and fm functions at a reasonable price. so we walked from shop to shop, looking at the brands and enquiring the prices. there were a lot of brands available but actually, I could only recognize 3 brands, samung, ipod and creative. after some enquiries, we realized that ipod didn’t have fm function, so it was down to 2 choices, creative or samung. creative zen model caught my attention since i knew that creative specialized in mp3 players. however, the price of the creative charger made me think twice as i felt that it was too expensive for a charger. then the sales person recommended the samsung mp3 player to me. it was sleek, with the functions i wanted and had a touch pad to maneuver the functions. so we went around comparing prices for the samsung mp3 player until we came to a shop. the sales person was friendly and willing to explain the functions of the mp3 player to us. after some negotiation, we agreed on the price, including the charger and made the purchase. finally, I got my mp3 player!

i spent the rest of the night exploring my new mp3 player and caught up with some reading. it was an exhausting but fruitful weekend for me, having to accomplish a few things. this summed up my saturday weekend...

recently, i realize that a day could pass by very fast, depending on what we are doing… a day becomes a month and a month becomes a year. we live a day by a day, making new discoveries and having new perspectives of things around us… our mindset change as we grow older and we begin to realize things that we never consider before... everyone has 24 hours a day and we have a choice of how to make use of the time. i guess i am learning to live my days fruitfully and appreciate the beauty of life… = )

have you started to appreciate as well?