i did not know why but in 2010, i had the thought of wanting to work in a particular bookstore, k. probably at that time, i was getting tired of corporate world and the only thing i wanted to do was to sit at one corner and read books leisurely. i enjoyed reading and liked the culture of that bookstore. this set me wondering how it would be to work in a bookstore environment, being able to combine interest and work.
that little dream lingered in my head and it was not until mid of 2011, that i started to think about fulfilling it seriously. though it sounded silly, but i went through a lot of internal struggles in my head before i decided to leave my current job and pursue something that i wanted.
i finally sent in my resume in october 2011 after coming back from my holiday trip in nepal. although i did not hear anything from them subsequently, i was constantly checking the website for any new openings. on one occasion, i saw that they would be conducting a walk-in interview soon. not wanting to give up so easily, i went for the walk-in interview to find out more. the interviewer gave me a better insight of the various positions and it dawned on me that sometimes things might not be what i expected. i was at a dilemma of whether i should pursue further.
as i was debating in my head, i received a call from my friend in late november 2011 and she asked about my application. somehow, her call prompted me to check the website again. they just had another round of walk-in interview for temporary positions. although the interview dates were over, i decided to call them to enquire. i was not preparing to give up until i hear an affirmative answer from them. the human resource personnel told me that the positions were filled up, but i left my contact with them nonetheless, just in case they might have openings in future again. somehow, things started to unfold. i got a call from them on the same evening to go for an interview the next day. wow! this got me excited! i went for the interview and understood that the temporary position was for the chistmas season, ending in early january 2012. i thought it would be a comfortable period for me to experience working in the bookstore. a few hours later, they called and told me that i was selected for the position. oh my gosh! everything happened so fast! i quickly made a call to inform the person-in-charge of my current temporary assignment, giving her a day’s notice. i would be starting at the bookstore on the following tuesday! the phone call from my friend seemed to trigger everything that happened subsequently! it was a sign! i must really thank her for that phone call! i was finally going to fulfill my little dream!
as the christmas season was a busy period, they recruited a number of ‘o’ levels school leavers who were waiting for results as well. i was the oldest among them but definitely looked as young as them. most of them could not believe when i told them my actual age! haha!!! proper training on gift wrapping and cashiering were provided to us even though we would only be working for 1 month. i could see that they emphasized a lot on training to ensure that we were able to perform our tasks well.
it was interesting to observe the people shopping in the bookstore. when i was working, i would notice how they dressed, the kind of books they bought as gifts or for themselves and how they fumbled with their wallets to make payment. i could see kids picking all their favorite books and the parents would pay for them. so envious! how i wished my parents would do that when i was young. i had seen many different books than i ever seen, processed hundreds of payment transactions and wrapped so many books within that month. the bookstore seemed to shrink by the day as i got more and more familiar with the different segments of where the books were located.
despite the internet boom where e-books became so easily accessible, there were still a lot of people willing to spend money to buy books as gifts or personal reading. they were not buying just 1 or 2 books, but a lot more! i was amazed by how much they were willing to spend on books. personally, i liked the touch of a physical book, flapping page after page, seeing the unread pages getting thinner and thinner as i continued reading. it would get me excited to want to finish the book quickly!
this was also the first time i spent my christmas and new year working in a bookstore. i must admit that i needed to adjust my mood accordingly as i had to miss a couple of christmas gatherings because of work.
everything came to an end on 2 january 2012 when i completed the assignment. for the past month, i was present to how much it took to fulfill a dream, even just a small one. i thought about this dream in late 2010 and it actually took me a year to have the courage to take action and fulfill it. how turtle slow i was. i spent most of the energy considering and considering, fighting the fears in me. there were a lot of questions in my head; would i be willing to bear with the pay drop? would i be able to withstand the concerns from people around me of my decision? would i be able to get in? would i like it? it was definitely confronting with so many thoughts at the back of my mind. i was thinking too much even before i took any action! when i finally took action, it became the wait and the uncertainty that were dangling at the back of my mind. for the past half year, it was definitely good training to my heart, learning to withstand the stress i put onto myself. i came out stronger.
i guess it is more about overcoming the barriers to fulfill the dream, than the dream fulfilled itself. sometimes, we are often held back by too many considerations which may not even be certain in the end. we get easily deceived by our minds. in the end, we give up on our dreams. this is the biggest lesson i have learnt.
i know that in the years to come, i will still be proud of myself for taking that small step, for giving myself the chance to fulfill that little dream. = )
p/s: i have set to read 15 solid books in 2012, especially some titles recommended by my friends. i just finished another awesome book by jostein gaarder, the solitaire mystery, within a week! highly recommended! my 1st book in 2012! 14 more to go!
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