dreams vs reality

i believe everyone has dreams, like what you would have written in your primary school essays. when we were young, we dared to dream big, but as we grow older, we don't dare to dream. maybe because we are hit by the reality of the world as we grow older. we gradually learn that dreams are dreams and reality is what it counts now.. how cruel.. when people around me keep telling me to live realistically, i wonder if there will ever be a day i will live for my dreams?

nevertheless, these are the dreams that i have from young till now..

1. i want to be a teacher
(inspired by my primary school teacher, mrs tan)

2. i want to be a policewoman
(inspired by the popular police tv dramas in the 1990s)

3. i want to be a deejay
(inspired by dasmond koh when he was a deejay with yes93.3)

4. i want to be a writer
(inspired by ng king kang, a reporter cum writer of lianghe zaobao)

5. i want to be a baker
(so that i can bake cakes and pastries for my family and friends; and coincidentially, kim sam soon is a baker too! my favourite korean drama so far.. =p)

the reality is, i am an auditor.. the nearest i came close my dreams is being a deejay, when i applied for the 'film, video and sound' course by ngee ann polytechnic after 'O' levels. however, i didn't make it for that but got shortlisted for the mass communication course instead (as i sat for the tests for these 2 courses). eventually, i didn't go for the interview, because i wasn't confident at that time or probably i didn't know whether i could make it through for the course.

eventually, i chose accounting and finance of temasek polytechnic, by way of elimination.. haha.. because i couldn't do engineering, IT, design or science. and probably accounting is more specialised than business as told by others. my road in accounting was 'sealed' as i went further to get a degree in accountancy in NTU.. i finally ended up in auditing and still working as auditor now...

i have been searching for an answer within myself over these 2 years.. whether i am doing a job that i like or just because it's just a 'natural' career path since i graduated from accountancy.. auditor, sounds professional ah.. but no one will truly understand the struggles auditors have been through, unless maybe the fellow auditors.. haha.. it was a real tough journey and i almost wanted to give up.. but i am glad to have real nice colleagues and managers that support me all this while.. i wouldn't have come so far without them..

looking back, though it was tough, but i came out stronger.. maybe this is what it is all about.. fresh out of school and step into the working world, trying to understand the mechanics and of course, learning the cruelty of reality.. with a better understanding of myself as well.. now, it's time to apply what i have learnt.. in my own way.. haha..

i am beginning to see auditing in a different perspective after 2 years.. it's becoming more managable when i change my mindset.. though the hours may get longer as well.. haha.. i hope to learn and gain as much knowledge while i am an auditor.. and by then, probably i will be more ready to pursue my dreams in this realistic world...

don't give up your dreams.. keep on dreaming.. that's what keeps us going from the daily routine in lives... isn't it?


p/s: just want to say a word of thanks to some people... alvin, mrs yong, ms ee, ah kan, sheep, ms huang, ah chua, babe, tim, wendy, tian mu, donkey, scallop, goofy, wk, swee n chen... = )